


Do you miss me?

by xanithofdragons



Series: Regrets [2]
Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Porn, M/M, Post-Break Up, Pre-Canon, minor appearances of natori's shiki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 16:08:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15644244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xanithofdragons/pseuds/xanithofdragons
Summary: Matoba shows up at Natori's apartment one night, and Natori does some things he regrets.





	Do you miss me?

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place when Natori and Matoba are both adults but before either of them meet Natsume.

The buzzer sounded in Natori's apartment. It was getting late and he wasn't expecting company. He walked over to his intercom, but before he got there Sasago, who had been keeping watch in front of the building, appeared.

“The Matoba clan head is here.” Matoba showing up seemed to have confused Sasago. Natori had never told Matoba where his apartment was, but it didn't surprise him that he had found out anyway. “Do you want me to tell him you're not here?”

Natori sighed. “No, he'll have already guessed I'm here.” The buzzer to the door sounded again. “I'll buzz him in.” After he finished buzzing Matoba in, Urihime came to his side, a troubled and confused look on her face. Urihime never had much liked Matoba.

A few short minutes later, Matoba arrived at the door to Natori's apartment. He was wearing a jacket over a t-shirt and jeans. A masked shiki was following him, but Matoba told it to wait outside the door.

“What brings you here?” Natori asked, aiming for a casual tone.

“I had a business proposition for you,” Matoba replied.

Natori figured there must be some other reason Matoba was there. He hoped he'd figure it out before he left. “You're awfully casually dressed to be here on business.”

“This stands out less here,” Matoba said, but Natori thought he would likely stand out anyway. Almost as soon as Matoba had graduated high school, he had started to grow his hair out, and now it was long enough that he had it pulled back. Natori had himself seen it grow out over those first months catching glances of him at exorcist meetings. He had noticed, too, when Matoba had started wearing the seal over his eye.

“Anyway, please sit down. I can get you some tea.” It was all Natori had for such a sudden visit.

After he brewed the tea, he brought a cup for himself and his unexpected guest. In his living room, he saw that Urihime and Sasago were glaring at Matoba, who took it all in with a smile. As much as Natori didn't like having his ex-boyfriend sitting in his apartment, he didn't like having his shiki glare at said ex either.

“Urihime, Sasago, patrol outside.” Having dismissed his shiki, Natori sat down across from Matoba.

Matoba began to explain the work. Natori listened, with half an ear to discerning Matoba's real purpose for being here. If things had been different, Natori would have gladly opened up his apartment to Matoba. If Matoba hadn't have dumped him. As it was, he wanted him out of his apartment as soon as possible. Being around him brought up feelings he wanted to forget, which was why he normally avoided him beyond the briefest, most polite conversations about business.

“Natori-san?” Matoba said, making Natori realize that he had gotten lost in thought and had lost track of the conversation.

“Sorry, I'm a little tired after work today. Maybe we can schedule a time to talk about this more in depth.” Natori reached for an excuse to get Matoba out of his space.

“Of course.” Matoba said at length. They scheduled a meeting for the next week. Matoba stood up to leave, and Natori stood up to let him out. Matoba paused by the doorway and turned back to Natori. He was too close, in his space. His scent, his very presence filled Natori's awareness. “It was nice to see you, Shuuichi-san,” Matoba said in a soft voice, his eyes looking down almost like he was shy to say it.

Maybe it was the tone of voice or the look on his face. Maybe it was their proximity. Maybe it was the name Natori hadn't heard from Matoba's lips since the day they had broken up. Whatever it was, Natori was grabbing Matoba and kissing him before he could stop himself. Apparently his self-control hadn't improved as much as he thought it had.

By the time he realized how bad of an idea this all was, his tongue was already in Matoba's mouth. Natori had started it, but Matoba had given into the kiss easily, opening his mouth and wrapping arms around him, like he wanted it, almost like he had hoped it would happen from the very beginning. And there it was, the other reason Matoba had come here that night. Natori pulled away.

“Matoba.”

“You're not going to call me Seiji like you used to, Shuuichi-san?”

“Why are you really here?”

“I wanted to see you,” Matoba replied, and Natori stared at him, assessing. Matoba's face was still flushed from the kiss, and he was licking his lips like he wanted more of Natori's taste. “I left the rest of the evening open.”

Maybe he was just lonely or maybe he was just horny. As hard as either one was to admit, it would still be easier than to admit he still had feelings for Matoba. Natori swallowed. “Do you want to use my shower?”

Matoba showered quickly. Natori got a spare towel out for him. Natori got into the shower himself and ran through his thoughts.

This didn't necessarily mean that Matoba wanted him back, but it might. This didn't even mean that he wanted Matoba back, although he had thought about the possibility more often he liked. For all he knew Matoba had changed his mind and left.

He got out of the shower and put his clothes back on. When he got back to the living room, Matoba was still there waiting for him. He had let his hair down, but the seal was still over his eye.

Natori took a deep breath. “Seiji.” Matoba perked up hearing his given name. Natori led Matoba to his bedroom where the both of them undressed. Matoba sat on the bed once he had finished taking his clothes off. He openly admired Natori's naked body.

“You've gotten more muscular.”

“So have you,” Natori responded. He approached Matoba and ran his fingers through the long black hair.

“Do you like it like this?” Matoba asked. Natori, unsure, didn't respond. It was all different and yet it felt familiar. Matoba looked up at him expectantly. Instead of responding, Natori cupped the back of his head and went in for a long, slow kiss, wanting to savor every moment of this time together. He felt Matoba's arms circling his back and reaching up to his shoulders, pulling him in. Natori broke the kiss, and Matoba was already breathless and flushed.

It was easy, comfortable almost. In between kisses, Matoba lied back onto the bed, and Natori followed in over the top of him. Matoba's hands were all over his muscles, paying special attention to his arms, chest, and back. Natori pulled back to look at Matoba. His hair splayed out in a stark black against his sheets.

“I think I do like your hair like this,” Natori said. Matoba smirked up at the positive attention he was getting. Natori smiled fondly at how boyish Matoba looked like that. Some things never changed.

Natori leaned over to pull lube and a condom out of his bedside table. Sometimes he barely knew why he kept them. He hadn't been with anyone since Matoba. He'd been too busy juggling two jobs, and his public life meant he had to be careful about dating... But no, those had just been excuses to avoid opening himself up to any of a hundred different pains and rejections he could experience.

Matoba noticed his actions and turned over in bed to present his ass. “I want you inside of me.”

Natori slicked up a finger with the lube he had gotten out, and traced the wet finger around Matoba's entrance.

“You're going to tease me now?” Matoba chuckled. That hadn't quite been Natori's intent, but Matoba's words pleased him all the same. He pushed a finger in, and then two, surprised at how easily they were going in considering how long it had been..

“I touched myself there while thinking of you,” Matoba answered to his unasked question. Natori closed his eyes. It was as though Matoba's every word was carefully crafted to turn him on more. For all Natori knew, that could very well be his intent.

“Hurry up and put it in,” Matoba said, pushing back on Natori's fingers. Natori pulled his fingers out. There was a moment, while he was hurriedly putting a condom on and slicking his cock with more lube, when he wondered whether he should be doing what Matoba said so easily when Matoba had been the one to hurt him. Then he looked back at Matoba on his elbows and knees, turning his head to look at him with his mouth open and the pupil of his one visible eye dilated with want.

Natori shoved all other thought out of his mind and entered Matoba. He groaned at the feeling of heat engulfing his dick that he hadn't felt in such a long time. Matoba moaned long and low as he slid inside.

“I missed this, the feel of you inside me, you over me,” he said.

Then why did you leave me, Natori wanted to say. Instead he started thrusting, shifting the angle of his hips looking for the spot inside he knew would make Matoba incapable of saying full sentences. Matoba cried out and started making noises that sounded like the parts of “Shuuichi-san.” _There_. He had always been better at figuring out Matoba's body than figuring out what Matoba was thinking or feeling.

He reached down for Matoba's dick, and Matoba sighed with relief. He was hard and leaking. Natori was close too. Speeding up his own thrusts, he started stroking Matoba. Matoba was coming over his hand right after Natori felt the waves of his orgasm.

After they both came down from their highs and pulled apart, Matoba excused himself back to Natori's shower. Natori sat on his bed, looking down at the wet spot where some of Matoba's come had gotten onto his bed. He heard the shower turn off, and minutes later Matoba was back in the doorway

There were words at the tip of his tongue, but before he could say them, Matoba was saying, “See you next week, Shuuichi-san,” and letting himself out.

Natori got into his shower, thinking about the fact that Matoba must smell like his soap now. By the time he was back out, his shiki had come back up to the apartment. He felt like they knew what had happened between him and Matoba and were judging him somehow, but in truth he was judging himself a little.

He met Matoba the next week as planned, and they talked business. Matoba politely called him “Natori-san” and didn't mention what had happened between them. Natori felt used and discarded all over again.


End file.
